Henry's Songbook

Hermless, hermless
There's never nae bother frae me
Ah go tae the library an' tak' oot a book
Then Ah come hame for ma tea

Wi' ma hand on ma heart and ma heart in ma mooth
With arms that could reach o'er the sea
Ma feet might be big but the insects are safe
They'll never get stood on by me

Hermless, hermless
There's never nae bother frae me
Ah go tae the library an' tak' oot a book
Then Ah come hame for ma tea

Ah save a' the coupons that comes wi' the soup
And when Ah have saved fifty-three
Ah put three in the drawer and send fifty away
And something gets posted tae me

Hermless, hermless
There's never nae bother frae me
Ah go tae the library an' tak' oot a book
Then Ah come hame for ma tea

There's one or twa pals that Ah ca' my chums
They're canny and meek as can be
There's Tam wi' his car, Big Ed wi' his stamps
And Big Lexie Gilmour and me

Hermless, hermless
There's never nae bother frae me
I go tae the library an' tak' oot a book
Then I come hame for ma tea

Hermless, hermless,
There's never nae bother frae me
Naeb'dy would notice if I wasnae there
And I didnae come hame for ma tea

Hermless, hermless
There's never nae bother frae me
I dae what I'm telt and I tidy my room
Then I come doon for ma tea

Hermless, hermless
There's never nae bother frae me
I jist hang aboot and inherit the earth
Then I come doon for ma tea

(as sung by Danny Kyle)

[1993:] In Glasgow, when someone is a nice person but perhaps not very effective, we say he's 'hermless'. 'He's o.k. - he's hermless.' (Intro Iain MacKintosh)

[1993:] 'On Stolen Stationary' includes Marra's alternative Scottish National Anthem, Hermless, whose hero plays Charlie Chaplin where Desperate Dan-macho is the norm. (Rob Adams, Dirty Linen 46)

[1995:] Written as an alternative national anthem for Scotland, because all the others are too military for my liking. (Michael Marra, acc. to Ian Anderson, Radio Scotland, 19 June)

[1998:] Scotland, as we complete this album, is about to establish its own Parliament, and Michael Marra has provided us Scots with a new National Anthem!! Away with the image of wee hairy men with blue faces wheeching through the heather, waving huge big claymores and scything everyone in sight!

THIS is the image we want...NICE PEOPLE!!!! WE'RE NICE PEOPLE. (Notes Danny Kyle, 'Heroes and Soft Targets')