(Ian McCalman)
Oh little did we think when we came to do this show
We'd really have a great time we thought that you should know
But wouldn't we just say that even though it wasn't true
So here's a sickening thank you song especially for you
(and you and you and you and you ...)
Well of course we've always loved this place
It's got all the nicest people in the human race
And oh it's been a pleasure just to play for you
We cannot think of anything we'd rather do
We have had fantastic fun from the time that we begun
It's a shame to take your money money money money ...
But we'll take it - and run
We'd like to shake the organisers by the hand
They all deserve a medal just for booking this band
And finally the audience we'd like to take you home
If you're ever in our area don't hesitate to phone
Well of course we've always loved this place
And the man who's going to pay us has a very honest face
And oh it's been a pleasure just to play for you
We cannot think of anything we'd rather do
If you want to buy an album we think they're sold out
But if you've got the money money money money . . .
You're in with a shout
And there's one final word before we go
We hope you know this rubbish is just part of the show
So good riddance from Moffat McCalman and Keir
And we'll see you next year
(They're worse than last time)
One lager and two beers
(It's quite embarrassing)
We'll see you next year
(as sung by The McCalmans)