(Cheech & Chong)
Oh my flower of the wildwood, she's long and she's tall
But for her Adam's apple, she'd no shape at all
I remember her still, sitting underneath the trees
Tying knots in her stockings so it looked like she had knees
She ate like a horse but never growed big
'Bout as useful as spraying perfume on a pig
I'm a natural blonde, my true love did declare
But black was the colour of the roots of her hair
And she joined the burlesque show that came to our town
She thought as a stripper her fortune would be found
But she ran into trouble and now she is gone
Instead of yelling, Take it off! they hollered, Leave it on
And I was waltzing with my darling to the Tennessee Waltz
At the annual fireman's ball
And people were staring because she was wearing
A newspaper dress, and that's all
She had comic strips from her knees to her hips
Where the want ads were I can't recall
Then her dress went on fire and burnt her entire
Front page, the sports section and all
(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)
Tunes: Wildwood Flower (The Good Ship Reuben James), Tennessee Waltz