(Peter Nardini)
But you don't need a dog
Sweetheart, you don't need a dog
Bark, bark, you don't need a dog
You've got me
You might need the pills, you might need the thrills
The tomato plants on your windae sills
You might need to pay the telephone bills
You might need to climb the mountains and hills
You might need to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea
You might need to scream, you might need to dream
You might feel like a cog inside a machine
You might fill your lungs with nicotine
Or you might need those jars of beauty cream
You might need to climb to the very top of the tree
I'm getting used to dog's abuse
My bark is worse than my bite
I'm learning to beg, I'm lifting my leg
I'm wagging my tail with delight
Every time you come into sight
You might need a cat to live in your flat
To keep doon the mice and things like that
Or what aboot a desert rat
Or maybe even a vampire bat
You might even want your very own chimpanzee
Wouf, wouf!
(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)