Henry's Songbook

   But can you type, Mary Ellen, can you type?
   Can your fingers fly across the silver keys?
   Can you operate a dictaphone, answer the telephone
   Hitch your skirt an inch above the knees

My name is Mary Alice Jones and I have come to see
About applying for a job with your company
I've plenty of experience and ability
So I think that I would work out well with your company

I see you do not understand the reason I am here
I'm not a secretary, I'd like to make that clear
I've been to Yale and Harvard, I have a law degree
So I would like to be a lawyer with your company

I'm brilliant as a barrister, I've impeccable degrees
I'm a legal eagle you can trust to crush your enemies
I haven't lost a case in over seven years, you see
So pull your head out of your butt and give this job to me

Somebody has a problem here and I think that it's you
There's such a thing as equal rights and I'm prepared to sue
I think you need a lawyer now more than you did before
I'm leaving now but I'll see you on the courtroom floor

   Final chorus:
   And I can type, Mister Johnson, I can type
   I can send my fingers flying across those silver keys
   I can operate a dictaphone, answer the telephone
   And hang you by the things between your knees

(as sung by Hamish Imlach and Kate Kramer)

[1995:] Learnt from a cassette given to me by Iain MacKintosh of a friend of his in the U.S.A. This song shows beautifully the sexism that still faces women trying to get employment in certain professions. (Notes Hamish Imlach, 'More and Merrier')

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